Posts tagged advice
This is for all you guys out there. All you boys who wallow in your defeat and hurt inside every time you see her. This is for you guys who have the perfect date planned, but can never find the girl to take. This is for you sad gentlemen clinging to hope, praying for your day in the sun. For you emo guys, I offer you this motivational speech; this piece of advice:
Cut that goddamn bullshit out.
Dear Uncle BJ (Part III)
Dear Uncle BJ,
I don’t get what the BIG deal is about Valentine’s Day. Showing your love just ONCE a year?? That’s stupid. If you’re in a relationship with someone, you should be romantic with them all year long.
Besides, I think people are missing the whole point of Valentine’s Day, which is Saint Valentine. All people remember are chocolates, roses, and cheesy Hallmark cards — it’s just a cheap way for businesses to make more money!
Love Balls,
Bruno Mars
Dear Nephew Bruno,
I think it’s time to drop the grenade and start holding tampons ‘cause your tears are starting to taste a little sour.
Truth & Dare
- B: You know, I've never been one to complain about my grades, but why the hell would you give me a "C" on my project? During the class critique, not a single person had anything negative to say about my work.
- S: Brendon, I'm not going to argue with the quality of your work. It's BY FAR the best in the class.
- B: So what's the problem?
- S: The problem is I'm not stupid. I can tell just by glancing at your work that you spent no more than fifteen minutes on it. Everyone else spent days on their projects.
- B: But you just admitted it's the best in the class.
- S: Yes. But you know, just as well as I do, that it's not YOUR best. And comparing yourself to everyone else in the class might get you a passing grade. But if you really want to reach or transcend your goals as an artist, you have to stop comparing yourself to others who aren't even at your level. Sticking to a "grading curve" only limits your potential.
- B: So my grade is going to stay a "C?"
- S: Well, that depends on you. If you get an "A" in my class it's because you fought for one. It's because you went the distance. It's because you kept on working, while everyone else went home to watch American Idol.
- B: But you have to understand, I have OTHER classes to worry about too. Not to mention work and—
- S: Look. You can label me "Unfair" all you want, but I'm not going to budge. 'Cause when the smoke clears and you're one of the FEW people in this world who actually gets paid to do what they LOVE, you're going to thank God there were people in your life who challenged you to be more than "good enough." So rip your soul open and find out what you're made of. I DARE you to be Great.
Advice from Uncle BJ (Part II)
Dear Uncle BJ,
Back in 2006, you wrote a blog (about LOVE) where you stated, “Nice guys don’t finish last, they last to the finish.”
Well, it’s been almost five years now, and every time I like a girl, she ends up choosing some jerk! I think it’s safe to say you were wrong! Just WRONG!!!
xoxo,
T-Pain
Dear Nephew Auto-tune,
First off, I’d like to thank you for writing with such eloquence and poise. It’s not often I encounter a writer whose simple prose could easily rival the works of Shakespeare.
Second, let’s make one thing perfectly clear: I NEVER said that women liked “nice guys.” Nor will I ever subscribe to the belief that women prefer “jerks.” What they DO like, however, are STRONG guys. Guys who make them feel SAFE, secure, and most of all, comfortable.
Advice from Uncle BJ
Dear Uncle BJ,
I feel like I can NEVER win an argument with my girlfriend! Please HELP!!
Your Biggest Fan,
Akon
Dear Nephew Akon,
The answer is actually quite simple: the reason men have trouble arguing with women is because we believe in things like “Logic,” “Proper Reasoning,” and “Common Sense.”
